I have had so many selfish thoughts this week. I almost became bogged down in the Slough of Despond! My feelings overwhelmed me and I could not swipe them from my face and keep them from oozing around my bnody to choke me.
The Slough looked like
Why do you answer some prayers but not what I really want now? Why am I so afraid and struggle with mild social anxiety? How can these fears help you in any way? Will I ever be a strong fruit-bearing tree? How can I watch my children suffer with
the struggles of life and am I the cause of some of them? How do I be the strong mother and friend I know you want me to be when I am sinking here? Why am I feeling so impatient about the land for the Pilgrim’s Progress? Why is it taking so long? Will
it even happen and if we don’t get that land, do we continue on our own land? Why do I crave community and like-minded people and meeting new people when I also struggle to lift my head in town at times? Who can I cry to? Will we even be living here
next year? What do I do today?
Sometimes I forget to call for help!!
So, when I finally gave a loud call for help, rather than the garbled, half drowning attempts and desperate looks at those walking comfortably on the sidelines, I felt Help
instantly hold my hand. I still had to wade to the other side and heave and push and pull to untangle myself from my feelings and climb onto solid ground, but Help never let me go!
Now, after a good washing under the words of Help, I can see the answers
clearly and I thank God that my life is no other way.
Maybe this is why I love Pilgrim’s Progress so much – simply and foremost for reminding myself in a visual and tangible form the realities of our walk as followers of Jesus. NOTHING,
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING compares to walking with Him!!!