Two years ago I wrote the below post out of desperate times. I was steping out in faith and writing for the first time. What a God to have answered in the way he has!!! I can hardly grasp how much
has changed and the place I am in now, in my heart, my ever-growing security, and in the eyes of my family and community. God's strong hands grasped me this whole time and I am stunned by all I have learned in the process! And now he is heading me in another
strange direction, with the second book, AND my new mission field in the form of a massive heritage building in my hometown. Only God - and only God lead.
July '13: The internet
made me lose all I had just written - but I refuse to stay without a record of my declaration.
It went something like this...
I refuse to let fear prevent me from living the fullest Spirit-filled life God would require of me to make His name known.
Though today I am trembling in fear. It is a crippling fear that has held me back too often in the past - and it is not even an enjoyable temptation. I do not remotely like it, yet its ugly lies
sting me and frustrating tentacles wrap around me stifling His ideal for me daily. I don't want it anymore.
Today I declare that fear has no place in my life anymore. Now, and over the
next year, and five years, I will see MASSIVE changes by His power. God has enduring permission to cut and poke, test and tease me out of a reliance on anything but His name. Be the only God to me!
Give me Your courage - I will take it. With my hands emptied of fear I will reach out and grab Your courage and You will be my confidence to tell about You through my life.
the right to over-ride my will and make it Your own - to challenge me as You allow life to, in any big or small way to be sure I am becoming battle strong. I thank You with grateful words that You care enough to send these tests my way and then allow us to
use the same power of the Master Warrior (YOU) to meet them. What a God!!!
Right now, when I want to cry and give up in insecurity - for double guessing my right to advertise You, for
looking down at the water and seeing my own scared reflection instead of Your face - I determine inside to lean heavily on You. I will search for Your truths in Your Word, and swim amongst them until they are so heavily surrounding me that I am eventually
lifted up from the fearful sea and walking firmly on them towards You.
Keep Your purpose FIRMLY and CLEARLY in my heart. YOU ARE AN AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME GOD!!!!!