I read a blog today. The writer was single and lonely. Her beautiful heart was arrayed neatly in letters on the screen, and my heart is responding in form. Loneliness. It hurts.
I have been married for 15 years now and
loved my husband for longer than the years I have not known him – and all at age 35. We loved each other from the ages of 14 and 15. As childhood sweethearts we have grown together and bonded so tightly, neither of us could consider life alone.
My husband is my most gratefully received gift below the gift of salvation. My six children are next in line. How could I be lonely?
Theoretically I should not be lonely.
How can I encourage someone
who is single and hurting, and possibly beyond child-bearing years? I can’t.
But I can say that I do not have friends. Not real close friends. I have no one to call up and have a girl chat to or have a princess party with. I long
for friendships and people who can understand the real me, though I don’t think this will ever happen now. I fear that this is the way my life will be forever. I fear that I have intimidated a few people in my acquaintance and/or have left a few others
confused by my occasional intenseness or inconsistent reserve. I do get my strength from being alone, but I also have to recharge on occasion through social input too.
What I have come to accept (yet still cry over for sure) is
that God has a reason for everything – including loneliness and personality traits. I could never have written a book (with no previous experience) if I had an active friendship circle. This is because the introvert in me hides my true feelings from
people and yet makes me desperate to share them with someone – so I choose to write them down. I would not have had this need to articulate God’s awesome story in creative form if I had had friends to pour out to.
God has a plan. My encouragement… become overawed by Him and you will have those lonely feelings more than satisfied. Of course they will come back because that is how we are designed. But we all long for something or someone that we cannot have. Singleness
is just more socially obvious and generates a heartfelt sigh from coupled observers. You are missing something special, but everyone has something that they long for with all their heart.
We all have desperate cries. Some are so tearing
that we think we will not be able to breathe another breath for the pain.
True loneliness is in us all, but it can be used to His glory!! Please be encouraged and take up the mission before you! There is a reason. It is one you would
chose for yourself if you could see His overarching theme. Look further at Him and be astounded by His being! He is good.
Marriage is so similar to a relationship with God. There will be days you feel
so close you could burst, and days when you can’t seem to get along for anything. You are already in the most powerful relationship our lives could be gifted. Work on this relationship as your number one and He will help fill all other desires. You are