This is a terrifying process. I am especially flawed at times knowing strangers are reading my words and I have no idea what responses are arising.
In the past I have made shockingly bad decisions to try to regain control over my out-of-control
life. Beautifully and gratefully I now know how to cope with any whisper of fear that says “Boo” into my mind. I go facedown to God and wrestle it out. Wrestling is, after all, the time when your arms and legs are entangled with Him and therefore
as close as you can get.
I see the blog count rise to intimidate me, and pray the interest in the story is the origin as I squirm uncomfortably inside. However, if I knew what was going on, I might not need Him as much to lead me. This is what it is
like to be living outside a comfort zone!
God, never make me see so much that I choose to step out on my own. Hide from me the very things I wish to understand that are not relevant or helpful to Your Name being told throughout the earth.
time to wrestle again. It is good that I am fit for this!!